To Babysit Gods
by Shadow of the Forgotten Ones
Summary: Sigyn has schemes that no one but maybe her husband could understand. So when she turns Loki and Thor into children for Tony and the other Avengers to look after. Tony doesn't know if he will survive but, damn if the two mini gods aren't cute. Part 1 of 24 Prompts series
1. Chapter 1

**AN: A may come back and add more to this. As is, this will stay open ended on how the Avengers react. This was a prompt given to me by Jokergirl4ever**

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Tony stares at the goddess in front of him, and wonders if he can call his suit to him before she can cast any hoodoo on him like she did Thor. The sudden appearance of the apparent wife of Loki stunned them both and allowed her to bespell the Thunderer. He doubts he can, and if he is being one hundred percent honest with himself, he doesn't want to tempt her in turning on him. Instead, he takes in her long black hair that reaches her mid back, and ice-blue eyes staring down at Thor, he watches in mild fascination as the tiny tot in her arms chews on a handful of her hair. He takes a glance back down at Thor, and a few dots start connecting in his head as he stares at the child that Thor now is. He swallows thickly, and she pins him with her eyes.

"Do not fear, Mortal Stark. I am not here to harm you. I am doing what is best for both my Prince and my husband," she speaks softly, gently removing the hair from the child's- Loki, holy shit she turned them into children- mouth. Loki's face scrunches up as the thing he was chewing on is taken away. He can't be more than three, maybe four.

"You and the others will watch them, will care for them," she says, her fingers rubbing Loki's cheek.

"Yeah? And why should we watch the terror in your arms?" his mouth moves without his permission, and her eyes narrow at him. The air around them shivers.

"Because, Mortal Stark, the best sorcerer is the one on your side, the worst is the one who wants to rip your spleen out of you while you still breathe," she says with a sharp, feral grin, "And I am not a sorcerer you want on the wrong side."

Tony scoffs, not because he doesn't believe her, but because if he doesn't he may whimper. She doesn't see it that way and takes a step closer to Tony.

"I broke into your tower and turned one of the strongest gods into a small child. Do _not_ underestimate me. I will know if any undue harm comes to Loki."

With that said she places Loki down at beside a still stunned Thor- seven to eight at the oldest- and then blinks out of the tower.

"Well shit," he breathes out, "Jarvis who else is in the tower?"

He squats down next to the two children, worry eating away at his insides. Children aren't something he has had to deal with often, but he's pretty sure they are louder than these two.

"Doctor Banner is currently the only person here, Sir."

"Excellent. Ask him to come up here?"

"Yes, Sir."

Tony nods and tilts his head at Loki and Thor. Thor is finally doing more than blinking his eyes and is instead looking around the room like he doesn't remember it. Loki, the little menace he is, has a death grip on his brother's arm.

"Hey there, do you know who I am?" he asks them, dreading the answer from the way they both jump. They both shake their heads and Thor pulls Loki behind him, giving Tony a look into Thor's life before Loki went full bag of crazy.

"Where are we?" little Thor demands with the cutest little pout that is supposed to be fierce. Tony smiles at them, trying to look harmless.

"Your nanny decided that you needed a Midgardian adventure," he tells them, hoping it will be enough to cool their jets. Thor likes to tell stories of the 'adventures' he and his brother got into in their youth. However, Loki leans up and whispers into Thor's ears, and it makes Tony narrow his eyes. Thor speaks up.

"Loki says that you are lying."

Thor wiggles his arms, nearly tripping on too big clothes in an effort to grab Mjolnir. _Kind of a dick move Sigyn,_ he thinks, _giving clothes that fit but leaving Thor to struggle_.

"Alright, Reindeer Games can tell when we lie, that is a new power, good to know. I am Tony, and I am a friend."

Reindeer Games studies him a bit, his green eyes narrowing before he leans in again.

"We do not know who this Reindeer Games is, but he says, this, at least is truth."

He hears the elevator ding behind him and lets out a thankful sigh. When Bruce comes into sight he stands.

"Brucie baby! These are Loki and Thor, they were dropped off for us to babysit by an older Asgardian," Tony says with a flair. Bruce, bless him, merely raises an eyebrow already used to the insanity that comes with being an Avenger.

"Hello boys," he addresses the boys before turning to Tony, "Do we have a pickup date?"

"Nope," Tony pops the 'p' and enjoys the fond eye roll he gets from Bruce. There is a tug on his pants leg that makes him jump slightly. He looks down and spots Loki, who has Thor scowling at him, looking up at him.

"I need wee," he whispers. Tony's eyes widen, want to get the miniature god to the bathroom quickly he bends to scoop Loki up only for him to bounce away from him. Bruce bends down.

"I can take you to the bathroom," he says, and Loki rushes to him.

"I need wee," Loki repeats. Tony is left watching his science bro walk down the hall to the bathroom with a baby Loki looking at him like he hung the moon. Thor not to be left behind, and knowing that his clothes will slow him down gleefully strips down, and takes off running.

"Oh, this is going to be fun," Tony groans, "Jarvis order clothes that should fit children around their sizes."

"Of course Sir," there is a quiver of amusement in Jarvis' voice that has Tony rubbing his temple.

"Karma," he mutters, "this is karma for all the times I drove my nannies nuts."

He hopes that when this is all said and done with, they don't have a revenge seeking trickster on their hands…

"Shit. Let Barton know we have certain horned company, and if he doesn't think he can play nice… I will take the kids to the mansion so he doesn't have to avoid his home."

"Right away… You may want to go assist Doctor Banner. Loki and Thor have discovered the wonders of facets."

Tony laughs and follows the sound of childish laughter. Maybe this won't be so bad.

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 **AN: If you have fluffy shorts you would like to request in this universe feel free to leave a comment with the request.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Y'all asked for more and hopefully this delivers ^u^**

Clint stares down at the child who is absorbed in the blocks before him. It's hard to believe the little squirt who is delicately stacking block after block into a tower is the monster who _raped_ his mind, who took control of it, violated his free will and murdered Coulson. Sitting there he can _almost_ believe that the kid isn't the monster in his nightmares. The kid looks his way, a flash of fear making it's way over green eyes before his face smoothes over.

It doesn't escape Clint's notice that Loki's hands are shaking. He wonders if the kid remembers who he is. If he knows why he should be afraid of the archer, though Clint knows he won't _actually_ hurt the kid. He isn't _that_ kind of monster. Tony offered to take the kids to the mansion so that Clint didn't have to deal with them. But he had thought he could handle it. Now, he isn't so sure.

"Are you alright Master Loki?" the voice of Jarvis echoes around the room. Loki nods his head vigorously.

"Master Thor is on his way to you. Would you like me to stay with you?"

It's strange to hear Jarvis talk so softly. Kindly almost. Loki shakes his head. Brave of the kid.

"Master Barton, it is good to see you home and safe."

It's a tacked on item of concern/greeting but Clint can forgive it. Because as Jarvis said this is home, Loki is the intruder. The miniature Thor thunders into the room, even tiny he takes over every room he is in.

"Brother!"

The two embrace and it reminds the archer of his early life. Of him and Barney. Thor turns to him, a suspicion that Clint knows all too well in his blue eyes. All was not good in Asgard. It wasn't _him_ that made Loki scared but being alone with a strange _adult_. That thought forms a pit in his stomach and he makes himself look smaller, gets on their level as Thor demands to know who he is.

"I'm Clint."

Loki whispers in Thor's ear and he watches the blond godling smile.

"The archer!"

"That's me."

"Mister Bruce has spoken highly of you!"

Well, doesn't that just tickle him pink. It doesn't take much prodding to get the two playing as kids should do. He notices that Thor takes over their games. The tower Loki was building becomes the monster's cave and subsequently knocked down. Loki is made into the Princess in need of saving. The trickster god speaks but not with the same mastery of language his older form has. Clint almost dismisses it but his own dealings with children make his earlier suspicion gain footing. Loki isn't speaking as a three to four-year-old should be. Though speech delay isn't a neon sign of abuse it makes Clint worry.

"Hey there Katniss," Tony speaks from behind him. The man sounds tired. A glance behind reveals an engineer with dark bags under his eyes and messy hair. Probably caused by children not wanting to sleep and waking up early. He nods his head in greeting.

"Are you sure this isn't a problem?"

"Yeah. May take some getting used to but I can handle it. The tower is your home too."

"I've got many homes, Merida, so a change of scenery doesn't bother me."

Clint doesn't bother arguing with Tony. He's learned that it's like talking to a brick wall.

"Don't think it'll reach you if you're actually on your floor but we both know that you like the air ducts more, Loki has nightmares. Wakes up screaming."

Clint cringes at that, he can imagine how much that scared Tony and Bruce the first time that happened.

"Bruce says that it could be things that happened in his childhood... or he could be subconsciously remembering things his adult self did. Either way, the squirts have met Big Green, who adores children by the way, and will keep you awake if you're in the right sector of ducts."

"Thanks for the heads up... Does he talk about them?"

Tony shakes his head.

"Not to us at least. He may to Point Break but..."

Tony trails off. Bruce enters the room from the other side, rumpled and sleepy looking the scientist joins the two playing around. This probably won't end well when Sigyn decides it time for them to grow up again. It's clear as day that Bruce is already attached and Tony is likely following close behind.

"Do the others know?"

Not that there are many others for them to inform. Just Steve and Natasha. Tony lets out a strained sound.

"I've sent out a message but Steve is wanting to try normal hood in DC, I personally don't see how working with SHEILD counts as normal. And Natasha is sticking close to keep an eye on him. Apparently, he has a hot neighbor."

Clint turns a smile forming on his face. Until he sees Tony's face.

"The last I heard they had a mission, where I don't know. Classified, SHIELD only type mission."

Well, shit. He hasn't heard from SHIELD since his extraction and even that barely counts. Even two years later and they don't trust him.

"So it's just us three then?"

"Happy and Pepper know too. Pepper so that the tabloids don't go crazy over me suddenly acquiring two kids and Happy so he can make sure the cars are properly equipped."

"Well that's better than just us, right?"

"Hell yeah, Happy has a vast knowledge of kids that surprised me. He's the one who got them most of their toys. Right now he's trying to convince me to get them pets."

The fact that the tower isn't overrun by animals is a shock to Clint. Tony isn't someone that has the best impulse control, maybe Bruce has stopped the explosion of pets? Something must show on his face because Tony smiles thinly.

"We're trying to decide if we want to get them a pet each or if they should share a pet. Then we'll need to see what pets are good for their age," he explains, "Loki and Thor are rather 'enmeshed' right now."

The way Tony says enmeshed tells Clint that it was told to the engineer in a long spiel that likely bored the man to death.

"We've also discovered that Loki has bursts of magic a la Potter but no control so this is likely before whoever taught him ushered him into class, so we have to consider that with pets too."

Clint whistles lowly. Tony nods.

"Karma. You and Brucie are caught in the middle of a karma bomb courtesy of me, I just know it."


End file.
